WIGGLES PROVES WORTH

Venue - The K-Club, Ireland

Winner - Tom Wigglesworth (-8)

Runner-up - Brook McLaughlin (+5)

Hound - Rich Gange (+44)

 

In a Jacket for the ages the mercurial Tom Wigglesworth delivered on his undoubted promise and natural talent with a performance of such quality that fans from as far away as Australia were left drowning in golfmouth froth, scarcely able to comprehend the scale of the demolition job he performed in leaving the field an awestruck discombobulated shambles in his wake and departing the Emerald Isle with a hatful of tournament records.

 

The revered members of the prestigious host venue, The K-Club, were even heard to remark that his performance eclipsed that of the European Ryder Cup Team of 2006, who had destroyed the USA on their hallowed grounds. This was never a true sporting contest at any point, with Wigglesworth opening with rounds of -7 and -6 on the Smurfit course to lead the field by a record 9 shots after 18 holes and by 15 shots after 36 holes. One of the finest moments came at the 18th hole in round 1, a par-5 with an island green.

 

With the fans sick to their stomachs having witnessed several players come unstuck in the water and make monster numbers, including a bloodcurdling 10 for former champion Harry Gray, the unflappable Wigglesworth struck a perfect wedge to 10 feet and sealed the birdie with all the nonchalance of a male peacock in full exhibition mode. It was the most jaw-dropping display of strutting dominance in the history of The Jacket, yet the unassuming Wigglesworth remained impressively humble in the face of frothy pandemonium in the onlooking crowd. With the remote possibility of a life-threatening bout of "Goochitis" the only hope for the field, and with it not coming to pass, the final round became a 5 hour lap of honour for the well-spoken man from Carlisle.

 

Early on he reached a staggering 15-under-par for the tournament but understandably on the tougher Palmer course he was unable to maintain his scintillating form, distracted by the adoration of the galleries. He cruised home with a more than respectable +5 round to win by 13 shots from Brook McLaughlin, who himself had played superb golf to beat the rest of the field by 10 shots. The two were comfortably the best performers of the weekend and deserved all the accolades and applause they received at a raucous prizegiving ceremony. The usually reliable Rich Gange was surprisingly off colour, plummeting down the leaderboard with a disappointing 20 blobs. He was gracious and charming despite taking home The Hound.